Friday, August 20, 2010

Episode 96: How to Clean the Gutters

Ok, I confess I have no idea how to clean the gutters. It's one of those things like laundry where once you start doing it, you're never really done with it so why start in the first place, right?

I live in a two-story house with a basement that's on a slope so when you look at it from the back, it's a three-story house. We hired this company to come clean the gutters on the backside of the house because I only have a twelve-foot-ladder and while I'm no Stephen Hawking, I am pretty sure three stories is higher than twelve feet. This guy - who was on his first day of work with this company - showed up and stretched out his big-ass ladder and he shimmied up it and hopped out onto the top of the house and then promptly slipped and fell. He bounced down onto the second floor roof, taking the third-story gutter with him. Then he bounced onto the first-floor roof and yanked the second floor gutter with him. Then he fell off into the oblivion that should have ended in the back yard but he accidentally grabbed the power line that led into the house and that electrocuted him, which certainly didn't come in handy when he fell on the metal stairs leading to the pantry door which he then bounced down, one at a time, denting each one. Then he was relieved to be over with it until he landed on the concrete patio and smashed his head wide open. Oh, and no one was home so he laid there for an hour.

But don't worry! Everything ends happily! ... we got new gutters.

5 comments:

Tang said...

If this is even partially true, I'm going to hell for laughing so hard.

Titus said...

I'll meet you in hell because with Deege there is always a kernel of truth, how big is always the question, but always a kernel.

Elnora Turmelle said...

Whoa! He was alone when it happened? Poor guy. Do you still call someone to clean your gutters or you do it yourself now? Cleaning 'em can be tough, though. Perhaps the best time to clean them is during dry season. There should be some kind of protection to prevent leaves from getting into the gutters.

Anonymous said...

Call 1877 677 4888 please ask FOR Melissa

Kylee Groves said...

OMG, I certainly wish none of that was true! That sounds horrible! I do hope that you did get new gutters though. New gutters are far better protection than old clogged ones that can't be cleaned anymore anyway.