Episode 33: How to Make Lemonade

Being a master horticulturalist, I - like all master horticulturalists - have a Meyer Lemon tree in a pot. In the three years I've had it, I have harvested exactly two lemons off of it. I get lots of blossoms all the time and then you can see the beginnings of a whole mess of lemons but then a rainstorm knocks them off, or heavy wind, or when I get all drunk up on wine and knock the tree over on my way to answer the doorbell that didn't really ring though I swear to god I heard it at least twice. The two lemons I got, I hoarded and kept secret from my sister, who had been eyeing them as well. She noticed they were missing from the tree and asked about them. "Owls," I said. "Owls got them." Then I went on and on about how there is a scurvy problem among the owl population and they have evolved to the point that they crave citrus. Needless to say, she didn't believe me for one second, as this was before I knew How to Lie. Too many details! Drat! I ended up using the two Meyers in a single glass of lemonade and while it was the best lemonade I ever had, I was sad to not have the lemons anymore. BUT I DID WHAT THE NEEDLEPOINTED PILLOWS SAID TO DO! Life gave me lemons and I indeed made lemonade.

As summertime refreshment goes, I like iced tea too, but I don't have a tea tree or a tea bush or a tea whathaveyou, whatever teabags grow on. I'll have to research that and get back to you.