Anyway. When the U-Scan® arrived at my grocery, I was overwhelmed with excitement at never having to put up with human interaction at the grocery store again! Until I deduced about ten seconds into it that the people in line now using the U-Scan® comprised the very same pool of talent from which the aforementioned employees were drawn. And not a single one of them can follow the instructions that the machines are speaking aloud. So! Be careful what you wish for, or you'll end up behind the guy in the U-Scan® line who can't even operate a blunt spoon, much less this high-tech piece of whatnot.
Special thanks to the, oh, eight different people who suggested this.