Episode 23: How to Get on My Nerves

If you've ever hung out for me for like more than three minutes, you know that a lot of things drive me crazy, that's for sure. Things like SUVs (and it's always an SUV) with "W" bumper stickers still on them - seriously, eight years later, how's that working out for you? Neighbors who don't mow their lawn. Those Peptol-Bismol commercials where people chant Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrahea: Yo! ( Frankly, it's the "Yo!" that bugs me more than the litany of digestive problems.) But what bothers me most of all is people who are passive-aggressive. It just blows my mind that there are grown people who just can't come right out and tell you what they think or want. I have this one friend (or should I say had?) who is like a master at it:

Me: Where would you like to go eat?
She: Oh, anywhere, you know me.... I'm easy!
Me: How about Thai? I know a great Thai place.
She: Ew, no, I hate Thai!
Me: Mexican? It's right down the street.
She: Gross. Immigrant food!
Me: Hmmm...how about a hot bowl of steam and some paste?
She: Perfect!

And it goes like that every time. Or it did every time I bothered to call her, which stopped about a year ago and now of course I've heard that she talks about me behind my back, says that I never call her. Which - it's true - I don't because between you and me, I am almost never in the mood for a bowl of paste.