I used to know this girl who played this game whenever she'd see a scraggly, possibly available man from a distance. The game was called "Homeless or Flawless?" and the point was for her to guess whether said gentleman was a dirty ugly homeless person or a dirty handsome hipster who probably went to Vanderbilt. It was her game; don't yell at me. She used certain visual cues to make her decision - plaid shirt? Easily available at thrift stores, so: homeless. Cigarette in hand? An expensive hobby, thus: flawless. One of those little knit caps? Uh-oh; it could go either way. The poor dear almost had a nervous breakdown when the Grunge movement gained momentum, and more than once I saw her on a date with a wrong guess, spraying Gloria Vanderbilt's White Shoulders all around her general area so people wouldn't know she chose the smelly guy. All these years later, she's still single so I guess her skills haven't really sharpened up much.
ANYWAY, some things are easier to judge by appearance than others. Restaurants, for one. If there are no cars in the parking lot, go somewhere else. But I chose books to illustrate this concept, because books are easier to draw than cars.
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5 comments:
Because this is my aesthetic, I feel compelled to clarify that I am not the subject of the intro. I have never worn White Shoulders.
That's true, it isn't you. It's the same person as the passive-aggressive person from How to Get on My Nerves. I figure I'll just burn the same bridge over and over. But I might be out of stories about her now.
This person has no internet access?
Also, Michael Chabon can blurb my book anytime.
It's apparently not hard to get him to, from the looks of things.
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